百度作业网高考 英语作文 求详细批改
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：百度作业网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/07/17 01:19:08
高考 英语作文 求详细批改
假如你是李华,你的澳大利亚笔友Mark对中国高中生的毕业庆祝活动很感兴趣.他来信想了解这方面的情况.请按照下面内容给他回信. 1,介绍常见的庆祝当时及利与弊 2,你认为更有意义的庆祝当时及理由 100词左右
Dear Mark,
Glad to hear from you. I’m very happy that you’re interested in the ways that we Chinese high school students celebrate our graduation. （括号前为题目中提示的括号后为我自己写的）
In China, the college entrance examination is really important, so students will relax themselves a lot after it. Many of them have parties and hold great feasts inviting their relatives and classmates. That create a relaxing atmosphere but really cost a lot of money. Some of them go traveling alone or with friends. They travel to places they dream of, and even go abroad to experience life.Traveling is good but sometimes can be dangerous. Also students write about their best wishes to friends. We feel warm at these notes but sad to leave high school forever.
I think the more meaningful way of celebrating it is to do some social work. Social work can develope your overall abilities and also promote awareness of helping others. It also indicates that you are an adult and take your responsibilities well.
（后面的格式是题目中给的固定的）
Best wishes!
Yours,
Li Hua
提供详细批改 包括
短语用得不对的地方 语法错误 低级错误
更高级的句型 润色的建议
作为高考作文不足之处
和优秀文章的差距
谢谢!
假如你是李华,你的澳大利亚笔友Mark对中国高中生的毕业庆祝活动很感兴趣.他来信想了解这方面的情况.请按照下面内容给他回信. 1,介绍常见的庆祝当时及利与弊 2,你认为更有意义的庆祝当时及理由 100词左右
Dear Mark,
Glad to hear from you. I’m very happy that you’re interested in the ways that we Chinese high school students celebrate our graduation. （括号前为题目中提示的括号后为我自己写的）
In China, the college entrance examination is really important, so students will relax themselves a lot after it. Many of them have parties and hold great feasts inviting their relatives and classmates. That create a relaxing atmosphere but really cost a lot of money. Some of them go traveling alone or with friends. They travel to places they dream of, and even go abroad to experience life.Traveling is good but sometimes can be dangerous. Also students write about their best wishes to friends. We feel warm at these notes but sad to leave high school forever.
I think the more meaningful way of celebrating it is to do some social work. Social work can develope your overall abilities and also promote awareness of helping others. It also indicates that you are an adult and take your responsibilities well.
（后面的格式是题目中给的固定的）
Best wishes!
Yours,
Li Hua
提供详细批改 包括
短语用得不对的地方 语法错误 低级错误
更高级的句型 润色的建议
作为高考作文不足之处
和优秀文章的差距
谢谢!
In China, the college entrance examination is really important, so students will relax themselves a lot after it.评价：一句话说明了毕业庆祝的产生原因,句型词汇不足.修
改： In China, no one can deny the importance of the college entrance
examination. To reduce the great pressure, Chinese students always
celebrate the end of the exam. But sometimes, they don't know what is
control.
Many of them have parties and hold great
feasts inviting their relatives and classmates. That create a relaxing
atmosphere but really cost a lot of money.评价：庆祝方式&利弊修改：Parties and great feasts are hold to celebrate their release from the prison. Actually, it really costs much.
Some of them go traveling alone or with friends.评价：庆祝方式修改：内容不好不做修改
They travel to places they dream of, and even go abroad to experience life.评价：庆祝方式修改：内容不好不做修改
Traveling is good but sometimes 【it】can be dangerous.
评价：利弊修改：内容不好不做修改
Also students write about their best wishes to friends.
评价：含义模糊,write to 写信?应该写明是寄语
修改：内容不好不做修改
We feel warm at these notes but sad to leave high school forever.评价：这句话完全没有转折.乱用!还用forever...我是批卷老师我就心里咯噔一下,这篇低分
修改：内容不好不做修改
新段
I think the more meaningful way of celebrating it【不用it 删掉】 is to do some social work.评价：有意义的庆祝方式修改：When it comes to a more meanful way, doing some social work is much better in my opinion.
Social work can develope your overall abilities and also promote awareness of helping others.评价：利弊,生搬硬套的优点.虽然我能理解你.修改：内容不好不做修改
It also indicates that you are an adult and take your responsibilities well.评价：利弊,再理解你一次修改：内容不好不做修改
没有结尾!低分低分没有一点和Mark的关系,你是和他写信诶!
据我所知,高考好作文里面,从句的应用应该很自然,要多用从句.对于中心把握不准确,利弊及有意义的方式应该同是主体,篇幅大多用在方式.词汇一般,没有亮点.句型一般.需改进.没有连接词,要背!
文章主旨一般,且主旨需合理论述,不是假大空.
另附范文～虽说是考研但是水平差不多,高考用用正好～加油!望采纳.
再问： 你好 你怎么会这么多呀 拜你为师 谢谢提醒！
再答： =v=
改： In China, no one can deny the importance of the college entrance
examination. To reduce the great pressure, Chinese students always
celebrate the end of the exam. But sometimes, they don't know what is
control.
Many of them have parties and hold great
feasts inviting their relatives and classmates. That create a relaxing
atmosphere but really cost a lot of money.评价：庆祝方式&利弊修改：Parties and great feasts are hold to celebrate their release from the prison. Actually, it really costs much.
Some of them go traveling alone or with friends.评价：庆祝方式修改：内容不好不做修改
They travel to places they dream of, and even go abroad to experience life.评价：庆祝方式修改：内容不好不做修改
Traveling is good but sometimes 【it】can be dangerous.
评价：利弊修改：内容不好不做修改
Also students write about their best wishes to friends.
评价：含义模糊,write to 写信?应该写明是寄语
修改：内容不好不做修改
We feel warm at these notes but sad to leave high school forever.评价：这句话完全没有转折.乱用!还用forever...我是批卷老师我就心里咯噔一下,这篇低分
修改：内容不好不做修改
新段
I think the more meaningful way of celebrating it【不用it 删掉】 is to do some social work.评价：有意义的庆祝方式修改：When it comes to a more meanful way, doing some social work is much better in my opinion.
Social work can develope your overall abilities and also promote awareness of helping others.评价：利弊,生搬硬套的优点.虽然我能理解你.修改：内容不好不做修改
It also indicates that you are an adult and take your responsibilities well.评价：利弊,再理解你一次修改：内容不好不做修改
没有结尾!低分低分没有一点和Mark的关系,你是和他写信诶!
据我所知,高考好作文里面,从句的应用应该很自然,要多用从句.对于中心把握不准确,利弊及有意义的方式应该同是主体,篇幅大多用在方式.词汇一般,没有亮点.句型一般.需改进.没有连接词,要背!
文章主旨一般,且主旨需合理论述,不是假大空.
另附范文～虽说是考研但是水平差不多,高考用用正好～加油!望采纳.
再问： 你好 你怎么会这么多呀 拜你为师 谢谢提醒！
再答： =v=