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大家帮我挑挑语法错误吧

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大家帮我挑挑语法错误吧
Good morning,dear teachers and friends!
Today,I am very glad to introduce myself to you
My name is Wang Shiyang,I am twelve years old.Now look at me,can you see I have small eyes,short hair and wearing a pair of glasses?
I like reading,I can get much knowledge from it.My favourite book is《Three Days To See》.Because from this book,I learned how to view the fate.Therefore,I am a firm girl.And I am a very outgoing girl,too.I also like to make friends with people,you are always welcome to our house.
This is me,a lovely girl.Do you think so?
That’s all,thank you.
大家帮我挑挑语法错误吧
Because 不能放在句子的第一个字.要用It is because.
And 尽量不要用在第一个字, 用 Yet/Also : Yet / Also, I am a very outgoing girl. 后面不能再放"too".
不能说you are always welcome to our house. 因为你前面都只是在讲你个人,并没有提及你的家人.所以这里要用you are always welcome to my house.
以上.